“Good thing, bad thing, who knows?”

The above quotation comes from one of my favourite books: Are You Ready To Succeed? by Professor Srikumar Rao. I love it because it states something I have found to be true – the universe, which is our Self, always acts in our best interest even when we feel as though disaster has befallen us. When we review the worst things that happened in our lives, if we are honest, we see how much those situations have led to our growth. I’m not only speaking of the trivial stuff, I include the very heavy, grief-laden events in that also. I can remember asking my sister to read a tribute to my husband at his funeral, in which I quoted Elizabeth Kubler-Ross as saying the worst things that happen you, things you wouldn’t wish on your worst enemy, are essentially your greatest treasures. They don’t feel anything like that at the time, but they are akin to the nurturing the suns rays, clear water and nutrient rich soil give to the growth of a tender plant.

Every moment is the work of eternity; of an infinite, unending, and myriad interweaving of events of which we are not cognizant. Every thought we make and action we take play out as ripples on a pond vibrating to infinity – we never see their ending, they never have an ending. Therefore, set your intention, feel the beautiful feeling you would have if it manifested, but let go of any attachment to a fixed outcome. Thereafter, pay attention to anything that provides evidence things are moving in the desired direction and celebrate those which please you, giving gratitude to the universe. Pay attention to the contrary only to learn from it, then refocus on your intention once more. In this way, you will attune your vibration to that which you want, and, through focusing on the gifts you receive, no matter how small, you will begin to notice more and more of the same. Thought follows attention and perception follows thought. A mundane and ‘concrete’ example of this is when you want to acquire say, a new car, or in my case, recently, a campervan – I see them everywhere whereas before they were invisible to me. Now they populate my world though I don’t yet have one. Let’s see if I win that competition I entered…..Schroedinger’s cat is still in the bag…

Attention, although we don’t realize it, is captured by what we think about and is only in one place at each moment. When we keep our focus on what we want to manifest, it follows that that is what will grab our attention and fill the screen of our awareness. It is through our choosing where to place our attention that we create our reality moment by moment. Our actual moment-to-moment experience is our reality, and our only reality. We have choice in what we focus on and can enjoy the ride, but are never in control of the outcome, and when it comes it is important to maintain a light touch – so, whether you are bemoaning a disaster or celebrating a success maintain the attitude ….”Good thing, bad thing, who knows?” Because life is in continuous motion, and attaching to what we don’t want causes unnecessary stress.

When life’s tragedies arise, such as serious accident, terminal illness or events of that nature, we need to feel the fear, anger or sadness fully. This can be very difficult in a society which prefers to skip over these distressing situations and so, we are not trained to feel our emotions fully in a way which will alleviate the suffering. We are conditioned not to feel sorry for ourselves. Trying to deny these deep feelings serves only to prolong the grief or depression. Both from personal experience and from my teaching and coaching practice, I understand that feelings of shame accompany deep pain; when we are suffering deeply we feel set apart from others and feel as though something is wrong with us. Allowing ourselves to feel compassion for ourselves, rather than blame, whatever the circumstances we find ourselves in, is a healthy response which brings healing with it.

Once we can allow ourselves to feel, those feelings transform – allowing us the relief of laughter or happier thoughts for a while, until we need to engage with our distress again. Over time, the periods of joy expand and distress diminishes – this is true whether we’ve lost a business or a loved one. Being open to our painful feelings will help us to negotiate the emotional turmoil caused by the unavoidable experience; will accelerate the healing process, and, once we have reached a point of balance once more, we will find ourselves able to focus again on what we want out of life, rather than remaining stuck in negative thinking about the trauma we experienced, we will find ourselves ready once again, to fill our awareness with the creative possibilities of life.

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